I always hang in a buffalo stance. I do the dive every time I dance.

Okay, so let's run down the list of WTF-awesome cameo roles on this show:

- Martin Sheen (cheap given the circumstances, but still)
- Jenny McCarthy (seriously, her performance included the best-acted dramatic moment on any TV show I've seen, ever. Said moment was brief, but I kept having to reality-check myself that I was watching (a) TV, and (b) a sitcom).
- And now Carol Kane.

CAROL KANE.

I've had a nontrivial crush on her for years. Even that long-distance phone service commercial she did several years back got me all excited. And she is still awesome.

For various reasons, I'm not a fan of Prairie Home Companion. But today they have:
1. Martin Sheen.
2. Arlo Guthrie.
3. Steve Martin.

I think this is how this particular radio show goes "balls to the wall."

I just left wtf_inc due to douchebaggery on the part of many members and at least one mod, none directed at me personally. I've joined tws_support and wtf_omgz, where the douchebag ratios seem to be lower.

Q: How many Iranian government officials does it take to change a light bulb?

A: "In Iran, our light bulbs do not burn out like in your country. In Iran, we do not have this phenomenon. I don't know who's told you that we have it."

Jesus fuck[1], go watch this (or here if the first one's down, but the lower res hurts). Halo vs. Samus Aran machinima video. The fight choreography is quick and brutal and DOES NOT STOP.

God.

____________________
[1] Quote from Terminal Cafe, a dreamy multistoryline sci-fi novel by Ian McDonald that takes place all in a 24-hour period. Please read it.

About 30 minutes ago I came across some information that made me bitter and angry. I was just starting to talk myself down, knowing I'd fail and end up going to bed pissed off.

Then I realized that I've got some unread Transmetropolitan left, and I knew instantly that I'd be okay. Angry as I might be, Spider is always angrier, and it's great catharsis cheering him on.

Cory Doctorow of BoingBoing sings Transmet's praises well.

Here, you can download issue #1 for free. Then go buy or borrow the rest. Your library system might actually have it—the one I have now is an interlibrary loan through the Multnomah County system via my upstairs neighbor.

Snap, did I mention that Transmet 5 ("Lonely City") has an introduction by Patrick Stewart? Yes, that Patrick Stewart. Here, revel:

Warren Ellis asked me to write this and I am O.K. with that up to a point. My unease is that the point is unnervingly sharp and very likely to turn in my direction. Here is the problem. Warren knows that I am a TRANSMETROPOLITAN fan, but how can he expect me to write about that? Does he think I just came down the Clyde on a tea biscuit? No sirree, this is not my first barbecue. If I write that Spider Jerusalem is my hero, does he think Spider will let me get away with that? I would be lucky to only suffer a blast from a bowel disrupter and it is much more likely my eyeballs will be popped as easily as squeezing a pustule and fed to the cat. If I write that TRANSMET is a beacon of brilliant irony and sardonic satire, could I survive the torrent of saliva-drenched invective and scorn S.J. would heap on me? If I wrote that TRANSMET made me laugh like a drain, are there enough lavatory bowls to contain Jerusalem's vomit?

If I confessed that I lusted after the filthy assistants, what foul perversions would I be accused of? If I praised the artwork as the wittiest, most disturbing since George Grosz, I would soon find myself depicted as a fucked-up, mechanics-addicted, feces-smeared background character. If I hailed this version of the future as persuasive and properly terrifying, I might never live to see it. You get my problem?

I think, however, that I can safely say this: I know this city. I have read The Word, I have listened to these politicians, I have smelt the stink of greed, I have thrown stuff at the TV, I have wondered what future there is for Truth and Beauty. I have wanted to go and live on the top of a Yorkshire moor.

Warren, tell Spider to stay healthy and keep writing the column.

—Patrick Stewart

No shit.

OMG meat alphabet!

Via Boingboing.

The cheapass I'm-a-bachelor-and-I'm-feeling-incredibly-lazy-tonight frozen pizza I bought has inexplicably thick slices of pepperoni on it. This is the dullest post I've ever put up.

Okay, so random Eugene, Oregon blogger Bricoleuse, whose blog gets comments from frigging Michael Moore, messaged me on Myspace a bit back and now we're exchanging emails. Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, I tell you whut.

I just realized why I've never felt a strong desire to see Raging Bull. I have been confusing it with Bull Durham for nigh eighteen years.

Oh, snap.

It's 5:30am Christmas morning. It's dark, cold and wet, and within five minutes of leaving my apartment for work I manage to piss off two cops. It's mornings like this when I should know enough to go back inside and go right the fuck back to sleep.

( Oh, wouldn't that have been nice. )

This gentle sore-throat-and-tired cold I got is throwing down some kind of god-damned meningitis card on me[1]. Yesterday after an extended sit at my desk with my head turned to the left due to monitor placement, this one particular tendon/muscle was completely freaking out whenever it was actuated. I figured it would go away after a night's sleep, but it only got worse. Now I can barely move my head in any normal way without a magnesium road flare of pain thrusting into my neck. This is strange because I've never had problems with this monitor setup before.

I knocked back an 800mg Motrin with breakfast and it hasn't kicked in yet. I wish I had better drugs.

____________________
[1] Melodrama. It's only on one side of the back of my neck and I don't have any other symptoms.

Via kl8n:


Rumsfeld, Gonzales, and Tenet to be tried for war crimes.

And Colonel Janis Karpinski is aiding the prosecution.


I really, really wish I still had some internal dialogue going on regarding this, but no. I support it. No one in this country has called the policymakers on this issue in any meaningful way, and left alone it will slowly fade into a vague paragraph in euphemized high school history texts. Left alone, it will happen again in my lifetime. Sunlight is the best disinfectant.

This is an example of why I don't trust Fox News. Either they completely flubbed a well-known and politically crucial fact or they're manufacturing propaganda. Neither possibility tastes good.

I was unable to pull up bradblog and I don't have a way of going back to Fox footage to check the source, but the screenshot does not look doctored. One of the commenters says he's seen this happen before on Fox, even with John McCain when he was doing something that went against the party.

On the way back to my apartment from the grocery store five blocks away:


Soft-Spoken Dude: "Hey have you seen a gay guy walking around here? Like, literally gay? A gay guy with glasses, looking all depressed?"

Me: (wearing glasses) "Is that me?"

SSD: "No, no, that's not what I meant. Have you seen him?"

Me: "No, I haven't seen him."


I was probing with gaydar to see if the guy was just worried about a partner, but man, the asshole alarm was really going off for a minute there.

Wow. David Cronenberg. That's the best you can do?

( Big graphic )

I'm watching Rockstar: Supernova (because Storm Large is a well-known local celebrity in Portland) and Tommy Lee just made it known that Massive Attack is one if his favorite bands.

Does anyone else feel like they missed a memo?

Pointing out weird Escheresque satellite POV artifacts in Google Maps' representation of San Francisco.

A little while back I realized that Gmaps Pedometer is a stupidly useful directions-giving tool when the "fastest route" on your favorite routemapping aid happens to be stupid, or wherever the route is nonintuitive (due to construction, one-way streets, etc.). Additionally, you can zoom way in on satellite view and plant the final marker directly on your front porch/a certain parking space/a spot in the park where you'll meet them. This is the baddest shit ever.

Just saw my first TV ad for Snakes on a Plane! Holy krap, the cultural amazement!